Twinkling eyes, deep breathing and tight slapping

I read this interesting quote from funny-man Drew Carey.

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

Interesting and heartening. Good to know that there are others in the same boat. By now you know this post is going to be a rant. Or, to be more specific, the muffled screams of a frustrated worker who has to act restrained at the workplace. Without this restraint slapping of people will happen. (Not too hard of course. That would destroy the perfect equilibrium of stupidity and incompetence in the slapees heads.)

I dislike my job as much as the next person. Like most people I have had hopes of falling (just slightly) ill just so that a day of work can be avoided. That pain has now turned into an obsession. And when I obsess I think. Shudder. And when I think I categorize. Shudderer.

I believe there are 3 main categories of people ( I love categorizing people πŸ™‚ ):

1. People who have a twinkle in their eyes when they think of their job: While such people can be annoying sometimes, especially on Sunday nights, you can’t help but generally feel happy for them. These people are generally good at what they do. And as a result would be successful in what they do. You will also notice, if you don’t you are categorizing them incorrectly, that they do not tomtom their love for work much. They are not always satisfied with work conditions, boss etc. But inherently work is not a scary monster for them.

2. Then there are people who have to start taking deep breaths when they think of their job: These would form the largest chunk of the population I assume. Sad souls who suffer from inertia/laziness, and end up spending a third of their life doing something they absolutely, thoroughly, sincerely HATE. What is worse is that a large proportion of this group could do something more productive, satisfying and meaningful if they put their mind to it. This group can be divided into cribbers (everyone who knows them is aware of their work situation) and avoiders (even their closest friends would not be able to recall what they do. Chandler from Friends comes to mind).

3. And finally people who have a creepy smile when they think about their work: These are the super annoying, one-tight-slap worthy people you will occasionally meet. They talk louder and faster when talking about their jobs, perks, awesomeness of their office. Puke. Puke again. Their business trips to Manesar are more fascinating than your vacation to London. Their boss makes more money than yours. Now you could see them as people who see their glass half full. Or, like me, you could see them as sad people who overcompensate for the painfulness of their work. As much as I dislike such people, they also make me feel happy about myself: At least I am honest. (If you think I am looking for anyone worse off than me, well go to hell!)

Think about which category you fall in and let me know.

My major learning from this analysis is, specialize when you are young enough. I have been involved in hazaar things always, but picking the one that will make me shift from deep breathing to twinkle in eyes is nearly impossible

P.S. Recently heard a podcast by Alain De Botton who talked at length about people liking their work and trying to find meaning in work. Check out his site here

8 Responses to “Twinkling eyes, deep breathing and tight slapping”
  1. ginnie says:

    hmmmm am wonderin which category I fit in kalaya

  2. sona says:

    Me belong to the second category. i hate my job too!
    And yesh, i know the feeling of wanting to fall sick too. its turning me into a hypochondriac, but who cares as long as i get to bunk office πŸ˜›

  3. Purnima Rao says:

    I’m category 1…and the only time i’ve regretted not being category 2 is when i look at my pathetic bank balance.

  4. Ms Taggart says:

    I always say that this job is just a stop-gap till I figure out what I want to do in life.. sadly, it looks like I might never figure it out!
    Oh, btw… I am glad I join the general population when it comes to your categories on job and people!

    • kaaliyakapoor says:

      I think we need to bond more. Jobs have a way of becoming really difficult to quit. If it is not the money, it is the inertia, if not inertia, just lack of clarity of future plans. Blech!

      Don’t worry, don’t give up. People like us will one day do what we are meant to in life and the current stupid job is not it. πŸ™‚

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