I married an absent minded Idiot!

I married an absent minded idiot! Now I know I have no one to blame because I knew him for around 2 years before finally tying the knot. But in my defence: 

I didn’t see the complete extent of absent mindedness earlier –the arranged marriage advocates would am sure like to jump in and say that ‘Dekha! Shaadi se pehle sab achcha lagta hai’. True. In most cases, not for us though, coz I have friends who will vouch for the fact that we were never the ‘he is the best’ and ‘she is the best’ types. We saw each other’s faults, me more than him I guess and to be fair to him, I don’t have too many faults. J 

To quote the famous philosophers – Ace of Base “I saw the signs…”, I did. Here is one example: 

On the first anniversary of our decision to see each other, I reached his house with a gift of a shirt and a tie. I entered and said “Hiiii! Congratulations, here I bought this for you” and he looked at me with a very wide grin and said “Hey thanks man. Come in.”. He took out the gift and told me he liked it. After about 10 minutes or so, he comes out of the kitchen looking as confused as Basil Fawlty “Kaaliya!, What was the congrats for??” At which point, I politely told him to “Go Die” and then helped him reach the edge with some taekwando I learnt as a kid. 

What I put up with these days though, is an order of magnitude higher than the mentioned incident. First of all, he never remembers to call any of his friends or family and I am the official complaint box. So messages abusing him in many languages and degrees of anger flood my inbox. And friends I can still handle, but family is another story.  

I try to come across as the nice bahu, and keep reminding him to call the elders in the family regularly, he is obviously respectful and assures me that he will call them in a second. Usually a second lasts anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour and a half. But when it comes to calling people it usually translates to “there will come a second in the future, distant future, when I will talk to them, you don’t worry”.  And before that momentous second comes, they have called already and I have had one round of scolding from everyone. He, however talks to them completely normally, not even acknowledging even a hint of a problem. And usually after the call, he is all smiles and tells me, “See dear, I spoke to them no.”  

I am just using this blog to a) absolve myself of all responsibility and b) get some sympathy from anyone who is reading. To this end, I present another example: 

Me, the absent minded idiot and my parents are waiting outside Pragati Maidan to enter into an interior decoration fair in Delhi. He volunteers to get the tickets, a task simple enough for any normal human being with an average or even below average IQ. My gallant, intelligent, super quizzer, excellent writer and MBA from the best institute in India hubby comes back with the tickets. I would have been very proud of him, but here is what happened:

AMI (Absent minded Idiot) : “Oh God! There were too many people in the queue, I got pushed a bit but look I got the tickets, lets go inside.” 

Me: “Oh great, you got all tickets?” 

AMI: “Yeah all 5 tickets.” 

Me and Mom (in chorus): “ Why 5, its 4 of us right?” 

AMI: “Umm…hmmm…Yeah but you see one extra is for the driver” 

Me: “Good, but I drove” 

AMI: “Yeah I was just kidding, its for your brother” 

Me: “How sweet. He is not in India at the moment” 

AMI: “See I got you again, I just got two for you….coz they might have a weight restriction like those airlines …you know the ones who charge for 2 if you take extra space and you know I think in a way its fair….” 

Me: “Don’t say that no. You know it happened just once in the blueline….”  

All our friends have been asked innumerable times, about their jobs, what their parents and siblings do, surprisingly, he still has friends who do take the trouble of calling him and not sceaming at him everytime he says, “So I will call you later today”. 

And this from a person who can tell you the boiling and meliting points of all elements in the periodic table , IN  ORDER, and other such completely useless information. 

The sheepish laugh and wise cracks at the end of every such stupidity is what saves him time and again. I am sure after I post this, he will ask me for the blog address for the nth time, despite the fact that he created it for me.    

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Comments
3 Responses to “I married an absent minded Idiot!”
  1. rajesh says:

    hi

    …firstly, do ‘people who live together (after marriage and not living in sin ) start writing like each other?…..neat.

    gotcha!…thats yr pseudonym the hubby was talking about in his blog, some time back.

    catchya!

  2. rahul says:

    hehe..i guess it’s simply great to be absentminded..

    the non-absentminded…the practical ones..they are the most boring people i ever set my eyes upon.. never making a mistake..perpetually worrying about the boring crap like rising petrol costs and traffic congestion… when lesser souls like me find happiness in a latest melody released by illayaraja..or a recent post that i was able to write in my blog

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