The hubby is working late today, so I came home and decided to pig out on some popcorn. As the dutiful wife, I should be able to wait till dinner with the help of my snack. (And when I say popcorn, I mean Hide and Seek, bhujia, moongfali gajjak AND popcorn.) But then this post has nothing to do with my snacking habits. So let us run along without unnecessary commenting or dwelling upon this feeling of guilt that is bubbling up.

Burp.(Muffled and graceful in that womany way)

Around 95% of the time, the absent minded idiot (AMI) and I love the same tv shows: House MD, Law and order SVU, Will and Grace, Frasier, Friends and so on. There is only one choice of TV series where we have a major disagreement. We can never watch it together: Sex and the City.

So now that the AMI and his set of roll-prone eyes were far away in his newsroom, I decided to binge on some SATC. Also, blame the sugar high, I started thinking about his reasons for hating the show, and mine for loving it.

He thinks: All the characters in the show are fake. And the fact that the quartet of divas make fun of the fake-ness of others is annoying

He thinks: All the characters are selfish and therefore unlikeable. Unbearable.

He thinks: The show has bad dialogue: “Unreal! Forced! Unnatural! Sensationalist! Boring! SLAP! Actually when I think about it I like it…”

He thinks: The show sells cheap thrills.

He thinks.

Fool.

All this from someone who likes the most random movies, and dragged me along to watch 2012.

2012 is one of the worst movies ever made. Really. EVER. Roland Emmerich is every ounce as grave a threat to mankind as is global warming.

So, I need to tell AMI, SHUT UP YOU FOOL! YOU KNOW NOTHING! NOTHING ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE OR SEX AND THE CITY! NO HIDE AND SEEK FOR YOU! I ATE ALL OF IT!

So why do I like SATC so much? Let me count the ways:

Well, first of all, the lives these women lead are, in a way, glamorous. They always have time for sunday brunch with best friends. They have few or no chores. They shop for things that they clearly can’t afford. Their lingerie is never boring. They always have blow dried hair. They always eat out but don’t put on weight. I think these things are fun. Impractical, clearly impossible, but fun. What I consider luxury is, for them, routine.

To quote one of my favourite literary characters: “Me likey”.

Carrie and company do what they like, say what they like. They may be selfish. In fact, I am sure they are all selfish characters in their own ways. But there is something aspirational in all this no?

I think we all end up doing a lot of things in life to please others, which only complicates life. Keeping up with social obligations is a source of stress. I think its cool that Carrie & co. just cut off from unpleasant situations and run.

It would be awesome to only meet and interact with people you like. Don’t you think? I interact with way too many people, on a daily basis, who I want to strangle with my dupatta. And then run their bodies through wood chipper.

All four of them love their jobs.

This is rare but also awesome. I especially love Carrie’s job. She sits in front of a pretty window occasionally looking at rain or snow. Starting all her columns with “I couldn’t help but wonder…”. Clearly her job pays fantastically well. A house like that in Manhattan and the huge collection of shoes, including all those Manolo Blahniks… Drool. Sigh.

I would happily write a column every week, writing about the many wonderings of my mind. When I think of her low involvement, high paying job, “I can’t help but wonder…”

But you know what I REALLY like?

The cheesy dialogues, and Carrie’s thoughts narrated out loud. I have always thought that my mind is full of random thoughts, sometimes stupid and sometimes profound. It is comforting to know that others, yes even Sarah Jessica Parker, have them too. Things like Twitter and Facebook status updates are great for people like me. They let me vent all those incessant musings that stream through my mind like a CNBC ticker at noon. Of course, the completely stupid ones still stay only in my head.

But there `
So, net net, I like this show.

To paraphrase yet another towering literary figure: “What’s not to like? Glamour? Good. Selfishness? Good. Fun jobs? Good. Random musings? Good!”

Agree/Disagree? Tell me about your random thoughts. About the Sex and The City. Or anything.

Nearly everyone I know loves to travel. Some more than others. The hubby and I talk frequently of the day we will host our own travel show. Even though I am a fan of Samantha Brown, I promise to be less effusive. For our show, we could travel around India with the Northie – Southie angle. Or we could both explore the world with the history nut – photography enthusiast combination. It helps that both of us are foodies and again we form the preferably herbivorous – mostly  carnivorous combo. Its brilliant I tell you. Anyone smart enough to pick up this idea?? (Yeah yeah, so its not a new idea…SHUT UP)

Anyways, our last long trip was to the UK. Our primary stop there was London, with some time in Edinburgh and Inverness. The hubby is a huge fan of the land of the stiff upper lip and of the scone, it was his third trip there and my first. Actually, it was my first trip outside Asia. I fell in love with the place instantly. I could shift to Edinburgh today. Maybe someday, or the TV show might take us there.

Our trip to Scotland was spent in great company, some friends from campus and my brother. All of us travelled by train to Edinburgh in a quiet coach. This effectively meant every joke or fit of laughter was succeeded by us checking our volume and whispering for the next several minutes till the cycle repeated itself. We drove around in the highlands on the way to Inverness. I found the place I want to retire to when I am old – its a tiny village called Braemer. It is the most quaint and pretty place I have seen ever. It reminded me of the kind of place where James Herriot’s books are based. I could imagine the church bells being the only loud noise and everyone going about their business at a most relaxing pace.

London was awesome from a touristy perspective – despite walking around enough to end up with aching feet everyday, we could not see everything in 2 weeks. In fact, a mix up of our return tickets gave us an extra day in London, where we enjoyed the services of the most entertaining guide. None other than one of the beef eaters at the tower of London. A delightful sense of humour and an enthusiasm for their work made it a fantastic experience. There is much I can talk about every experience there. I might, depending on the free time in office and the feedback to this post.

The idea behind this post was to showcase a few of my favourite photos from the trip, but I have rambled on.

Anyhow, as they say in my office: Please find below, some photos from the Scotland trip. Do let me know in case there is any feedback. Regards.

Idle day at the St. Andrews golf course

Our B&B at Inverness

Pretty Flowers

Hope you like them, if yes, please let me know. If not, well, I had fun taking these photos, so shut up.

p.s. Click on all pictures to magnify. Click. Now.

I read this interesting quote from funny-man Drew Carey.

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

Interesting and heartening. Good to know that there are others in the same boat. By now you know this post is going to be a rant. Or, to be more specific, the muffled screams of a frustrated worker who has to act restrained at the workplace. Without this restraint slapping of people will happen. (Not too hard of course. That would destroy the perfect equilibrium of stupidity and incompetence in the slapees heads.)

I dislike my job as much as the next person. Like most people I have had hopes of falling (just slightly) ill just so that a day of work can be avoided. That pain has now turned into an obsession. And when I obsess I think. Shudder. And when I think I categorize. Shudderer.

I believe there are 3 main categories of people ( I love categorizing people ):

1. People who have a twinkle in their eyes when they think of their job: While such people can be annoying sometimes, especially on Sunday nights, you can’t help but generally feel happy for them. These people are generally good at what they do. And as a result would be successful in what they do. You will also notice, if you don’t you are categorizing them incorrectly, that they do not tomtom their love for work much. They are not always satisfied with work conditions, boss etc. But inherently work is not a scary monster for them.

2. Then there are people who have to start taking deep breaths when they think of their job: These would form the largest chunk of the population I assume. Sad souls who suffer from inertia/laziness, and end up spending a third of their life doing something they absolutely, thoroughly, sincerely HATE. What is worse is that a large proportion of this group could do something more productive, satisfying and meaningful if they put their mind to it. This group can be divided into cribbers (everyone who knows them is aware of their work situation) and avoiders (even their closest friends would not be able to recall what they do. Chandler from Friends comes to mind).

3. And finally people who have a creepy smile when they think about their work: These are the super annoying, one-tight-slap worthy people you will occasionally meet. They talk louder and faster when talking about their jobs, perks, awesomeness of their office. Puke. Puke again. Their business trips to Manesar are more fascinating than your vacation to London. Their boss makes more money than yours. Now you could see them as people who see their glass half full. Or, like me, you could see them as sad people who overcompensate for the painfulness of their work. As much as I dislike such people, they also make me feel happy about myself: At least I am honest. (If you think I am looking for anyone worse off than me, well go to hell!)

Think about which category you fall in and let me know.

My major learning from this analysis is, specialize when you are young enough. I have been involved in hazaar things always, but picking the one that will make me shift from deep breathing to twinkle in eyes is nearly impossible

P.S. Recently heard a podcast by Alain De Botton who talked at length about people liking their work and trying to find meaning in work. Check out his site here www.alaindebotton.com/

Recently noted on the guardian website was an article talking about how Bristol, Sarah Palin’s daughter has broken off her engagement. A lot of us must have expected that the whole , ’she is not going to be a single mother’ and ‘they are getting married soon’ bakwaas was exactly that. She said in an interview that mom’s belief of abstinence is “not realistic at all”.

Just made me think that abstinence being un-realistic, is such a cultural phenomenon. I am by no means for or against Sarah Palin’s belief, so that is something we are not discussing here. What I want to understand is what is it that makes something un-realistic in the US, completely acceptable and manageable by a large majority in India.

Before I go any further, I must say I have not been to the US yet, so my knowledge comes from books, movies, TV and the net. Also I understand that there must be a sample of Indian youth who do find it unrealistic to abstain, not talking in absolutes here.

Are Indian parents better at programming their kids? I have seen the youngsters in a place like Mumbai, where drinking is fairly commonplace, gujju jain kids from pure vegetarian families choosing not to drink, not even curious enough to try a sip. Its interesting. I keep wondering if it is oppressive upbringing or excellent upbringing or something completely different. The same logic applies to loads of Indian kids from many different states and cultures not sleeping around with anyone or experimenting with multiple people seemingly out of choice. It does not seem like oppression because the kids are fairly happy with their families and their lives. I would assume anger as a reaction to restrictions but I have rarely seen it.

Are Indian kids fundamentally different from their American or European counterparts in that they have different priorities and different needs. Is it in some way related to different races being fundamentally different? I don’t think so, but I don’t know (Indian engineering students would become even harder to explain then). Or is it that exposure to the other sex and to a lifestyle of open sexuality is limited/non existent and that is the explanation to how Indian kids/youth behave.

I don’t understand this yet. Why is one person’s impossibility another person’s given?

P.S. Thanks to AMI for framing the last question.

On Sunday, I became the target of the psycho ramblings of a super idiotic imbecile on a bike. What happened was this, we were at a traffic signal waiting for it to turn green. The bike in front of us,  ahead of the stop line got slightly nudged by the car on their right and the driver nearly lost balance. The pillion rider however, just got down and started screaming at me saying it was all my fault. He did not pause to hear any explanation, looked at hubby, who looked at him with the most dead pan expression possible. He ended the tirade of noise by telling my husband, why don’t you drive.

At the very next signal, I again stopped behind the stop line and then saw around 5 car owners park (or should i say start their creep) in front of me. Both incidents made me super mad. I actually could not see why following the rules was a good thing for me, when nothing happened to the ones who broke them.

After some thinking, I have no answers but a lot of questions about the way we as a country operate. I know very few people read this blog, but maybe one of them will be able to answer them or maybe I am just cribbing so I get the pain out of my system:

1. Does the lack of disincentive to break rules, become the incentive. – I mean the people who cut in line before me never got caught, why should I follow rules the next time.

2. Why is it that in case of traffic incidents, Indians always assume the bigger car, the richer looking person, the woman is at fault. Why can’t we argue about the traffic on the merits of the case. I really believe that if someone gets hurt breaking the rules, there should be little or no sympathy for them. Why does it not happen? Is it because our mentality of the 60s/70s bollywood, where all rich men were corrupt and bad is still there somewhere.

3. Why is it that when we, as a people, do not value time and don’t believe that reaching late anywhere deserves even a polite apology, that we need to run, push, shove and break all sorts of rules reach the front of the line. Isn’t the idea of  being first in line, contrary to our chalta hai attitude? The people who break the signal with their traffic creep, gain what, 30 seconds or maybe 2 minutes, going somewhere where they are already around 30 minutes late. Whats 35 compared to 30 man, why do it?

4. Why can’t we learn the basic rules of decency and not throw garbage out of vehicles? What bothers me more is that, I can’t figure out the source of our problem. Is it lack of education? No.  I have seen educated professionals, working in an MNC do it. They think nothing of throwing paper in and out of the local trains. Is it lack of money? No. I have seen people throwing chips packets, fruit peels and even toll booth receipts. They say the best way to take care of a problem is by eliminating its source. Since the source is not clear, will we never solve this problem.

5. Are we justified in blaming governments for all the faults in the system? When the government comes up with rules which are intended to solve citizen’s problems, and we find loopholes to game the system, aren’t we at fault? We blaim it on our politicians because we expect them to be smarter than us, more honest than us, more selfless than us. They come from within the system, why should they be better?

What I find really funny in this whole thing is that on a collective level, we find it difficult to admit that our country is unclean, few people follow rules. Even when we are shown examples of other countries handling things better than us, we have a list of excuses ready. Who are we trying to fool when we give explanations for these problems. Here is a list of some reasons why other countries are not as happy as us.

1. Singapore is nice and clean, but itna freedom nahin hai ki aap ek kaagaz bhi phenk sako or chewing gum khana bhi allowed nahin hai. No yaar, its too clean, almost antiseptic. (yeah. correct. Throwing paper is like a birthright no. I mean c’mon, why would people be happy when they have to carry wrappers of chocolates with them till the next dustbin.)

2. Hong Kong is nice, very good place to work, but your civil liberties are non-existent. You can’t protest against their policies yaar. (What an insight, thats why we are in such an awesome place, we can protest. And break rules.)

3. US or UK mein standard of life to achcha hai, but culture kharab hai. (As SRK said in Swades, when all arguments fail, we bring out the trump card of sanskar and sanskriti)

I don’t think that all is going wrong in our country, absolutely not. But we need to accept the issues and try to solve them. First we change ourselves, then we change our politicians. And now for the toughest question. How??

3 thoughts and many more questions:

1. I have never met anyone who doesn’t care about what others think of him/her. Everyone has their own circle, which makes them think “what will they think/say about me”. My friends (nearly all) care about what their friends/colleagues think, my parents’ generation seems to care about a larger circle (friends, relatives, neighbours, loosely defined category of log (people)). People in the media care about critics, people in the corporate offices care about peers and bosses and so on. Why do we tell people “to hell with what other people think” when we can’t follow this ourselves. Seems to me, noone can but nearly everyone preaches. The worst is when parents warn kids not to succumb to peer pressure, and will make kids jump through hoops so that their own peer group doesn’t judge them.

I thought of this because in my opinion the opposition to the depiction of poverty in Slumdog is basically a bunch of Indians thinking, ” ab western world mein log kya kahenge/sochenge” (What does the west think/say about us)

2. At a party some time back, we were discussing how a lot of countries have a counter culture driven largely by anger which surfaces in the form of graffiti, rap music, dark art etc. but not India. What I found surprising after this observation was, not only is such counter culture missing, I see a lot of happy and content youngsters coming from the most restricted families, not even tempted to break the rules just because they find rules stifling. I mean, when I was young, I grew up with my share of fights with my parents because I thought they were too narrow minded. I see these youngsters and kids and wonder if they ever get thoughts of rebellion or being restricted, I think not.

If I am right, is there something parents are doing right in India or are they emotionally paining their kids so they follow rules or is it that the repressed frustrations of the kids will raise their ugly head in some fashion later in their lives?

3. Why do the extremists of multiple religions talk in the same tone and about the same things (Marriage, Women being inferior to men, women should dress modestly etc.)? If they have some agreement on some of the things, why do most of them say we are right and all other sects/religions a work of the devil?

I fail to understand the need to stay true to one particular culture/faith/belief system. Accepting change in beliefs is in my opinion a sign of maturity. It is unlikely and also unbelievable that any sensible person has believed in the same thing all their life. I am sure as kids we thought that 16 is obviously the age when life is completely clear to you. If we can change views why should it bother us if others believe in different things. Their views on anything and everything, are most likely going to change in the future, just like yours did and will.

The Right is right. The flag bearers of Indian culture have every right to be angered at the filthy western habits of the Bhartiya Naari like wearing western clothes, jeans and cut sleeves t-shirts,  which leave the woman nearly nude…(its ok, Geometry is hard for some people!)… Going to Pubs(double gasp)…and celebrating Valentine’s day ( hey bhagwan…in horror, not in greeting).  I completely agree, I think there are certain steps which need to be taken to ensure that our glorious country can go back in time to its glorious days. Its a western concept to talk of moving forward, let them move forward, we will steadfastly take steps back in time, I stand by them in their action plan. I have a few additional suggestions to take this transition to the next level:

1. How dare people travel by trains and buses – These are symbols of our days under the British rule, did the Gods take the 501 bus or the 9:10 local, its not a part of our culture and is not acceptable.

2. Cars and scooters – These are just ways for the west to suck us into their world of transportation, fast movement and meeting each other. These are the things which lead to girls and boys from good households travelling distances to meet each other and be in confined spaces…chi chi. Ban all modes of transport, except the trusted beasts of burden and the carts which they carry.

3. I have broken the code of Indianness, I know I am guilty, the evils of telcommunication, the landlines and mobiles are works of the asuras, if they are so important, how could people survive without them in our past. I have not forgotten the internet, lets all stop using it for its not Indian.

4. Next in line are people living anywhere except their own home towns, its absolutely horrifying that people with this western concept of ambition in their head move to different corners of the country and the world. They are the responsible parties in putting India on the global map with the software engineers and investment bankers and accountants and doctors all making a mark for themselves. Blech, makes me want to puke. Lets all just stick to the primary sector, work on farms, mines, animal rearing etc. That is the true India, not the India which sends vehicles to the Moon, which creates cars, which makes institutions like the IITs and the IIMs.

5. Now, I am very sure that none of the fundamental right wing true blue Indians fall at the feet of corrupt, poisonous western medicine to solve health problems, our own vaidyas have the cure for everything. Also no activists of this most noble cause, would ever go to or let anyone in their families ever study in an engligh medium school, its obviuosly not useful, in fact, schools are not useful. Our glorious tradition of Gurukul is what is required in this day and age.

The laundry list of things un-indian which should be banned since all of them in some way lead to women (not men obviously, sheesh!) commit many many deeds which are against the bharatiya nari’s code of conduct (which is written where exactly? I forget) is long, and they all must be stopped. Working in jobs, where men and women work together is despicable, clothes made using machines is so against our culture, how about Cricket and Hockey (we spit on these British wastes of time),  Paper currency (the root of all evil), Roads  made with concrete and cement and using machines, where is the love for kachcha roads), Honeymoon (leaving old parents at home to go have fun, nooooooo shravan kumar would not have done that).

I am sure the list can be longer but then I am just a woman, am sure my sanskriti does not allow me to voice my opinion publicly.

Since, we must practice what we preach, once all these things are given up by the custodians of our pure and superior culture, maybe we can accept the likes of SRS, MNS etc asking others to live a certain way or else to let everyone live in peace.

God be with them in this endeavour, except for one small thing, If I were God, would I not have other things to take care of instead of worrying about/get offended by what one wears or puts in their mouth. Or maybe these are the things God is worrying about and has no time for the floods/poor/sick/war-affected/religious fanatics.

AMI and I have shifted to Saadi Dilli from Aamchi Mumbai a couple of weeks back.  After a lot of running around (when is the truck with the stuff reaching?, we need to call electrician, plumber etc.) and some amount of panicking (we will never find a maid, there are no curtains available for the windows this size.)  we are finally settling in very well thank you. We have gone from, “its too cold!” to “aaj thand nahin hai na” in pretty much the same temperature.

I have spent a large part of my life in Delhi, going to school and college here, so for me its more re-acquainting than introduction to a new city. Though the amount it has changed is phenomenal. The roads are for the most part, super fantastic, if you are coming from Mumbai, the roads would scare you, “Something is wrong. Why is my car moving so much and so fast”. “Am I going deaf? Why is no one honking?” etc.  A lot of people have asked me which do you like better, Delhi or Mumbai. I think its too early to comment but then not having enough information has never stopped any proud Indian (or should I say Punjabi) from giving a completely convinced opinion(In any case, there are no more than 10 people who know I blog )

The one thing which the MBA has taught me is not to commit to any one argument.  I love the following words and phrases – on the other hand, the flip side is that, however, having said that etc. I love them only when I use them, of anyone else uses, I find it super annoying and form an opinion that this idiot knows nothing. So to avoid annoying the aforementioned 10 people, I will try to avoid the MBA gyaan in the analysis (I can call it analysis even if it is just opinion, cos its my blog.)

So here goes my analysis of how things work (things which affect me) in both cities.

1. Traffic

Delhi wins hands down. The drivers are equally bad everywhere just that the infrastructure in Dilli allows people the luxury of making mistakes. It is in my mind, the land of “hum jahaan khade hote hain, line wahin se shuru hoti hai” but a little bit of shaking head in disgust, questioning looks and gestures, and occasionally some gaalis, traffic is moving. The only sad thing is that with the nice roads, a little extra effort towards following traffic rules, the city could have world class traffic. I have a solution (I mostly do), we need cameras at many many traffic signals and I am sure each will break even within a day if not within hours. Nevertheless, this is the city where our car got introduced to existence of a fifth gear.

Mumbai on the other hand does not have a traffic problem if by traffic we mean moving vehicles. I have heard all excuses – Its straight and so there is only one route possible, Its too big an exercise, maybe the money is less. Our conclusion (me and AMI) is the only problem is lack of will from the politicians.

2. Food  -

In terms of mid range restaurants, I know Mumbai has quite a few, not so sure about Delhi. The road side food variety in Delhi is unmatched from kulche chole, golguppe, chaat to boiled egg/omlette places, you name it, its there. I am slightly unsure about the premium restaurants, coz when I left Delhi after graduation, most places seemed premium . Will update on food soon. Have just found this site http://eoid.wordpress.com and am becoming even more happy.

3. Late nights -

Mumbai absolutely wins for sure, the city is super safe. Getting a cab or auto in the middle of the night or even early morning is safe. For women, its completely safe till around midnight, post which might be good to have someone along. The street lights work at all times, or so I think based on my experience.

Compared to that, Delhi with its malfunctioning street lights, open spaces and green covers combined with the cowardice of the men becomes unsafe undoubtedly. The neem on top of the karela is that Delhi police seems to be less competent/willing to help than their Mumbai counterparts. Women would not feel safe after 9 in most places. This website http://blog.blanknoise.org/ with the right intentions and the wrong methods, would find a big market in Delhi methinks. If there exists a partying circuit in Delhi, I am not so sure(have heard rumours of it though).

4. People

I very strongly believe that middle class indians are the same across the country in terms of basic values. Their level of modernity might differ from city to city but basic nature is more or less the same. Seems like there is no comparison here. The thing that has changed is  instead of  hearing “Abbe Gaadi hata, paka mat”, you end up hearing (specially in Gurgaon), ” Bhai, Gaddddi hatta le, dimaag kharab na kar”.

Any comments or additions are welcome. Tell tell.

I married an absent minded idiot! Now I know I have no one to blame because I knew him for around 2 years before finally tying the knot. But in my defence: 

I didn’t see the complete extent of absent mindedness earlier –the arranged marriage advocates would am sure like to jump in and say that ‘Dekha! Shaadi se pehle sab achcha lagta hai’. True. In most cases, not for us though, coz I have friends who will vouch for the fact that we were never the ‘he is the best’ and ‘she is the best’ types. We saw each other’s faults, me more than him I guess and to be fair to him, I don’t have too many faults. J 

To quote the famous philosophers – Ace of Base “I saw the signs…”, I did. Here is one example: 

On the first anniversary of our decision to see each other, I reached his house with a gift of a shirt and a tie. I entered and said “Hiiii! Congratulations, here I bought this for you” and he looked at me with a very wide grin and said “Hey thanks man. Come in.”. He took out the gift and told me he liked it. After about 10 minutes or so, he comes out of the kitchen looking as confused as Basil Fawlty “Kaaliya!, What was the congrats for??” At which point, I politely told him to “Go Die” and then helped him reach the edge with some taekwando I learnt as a kid. 

What I put up with these days though, is an order of magnitude higher than the mentioned incident. First of all, he never remembers to call any of his friends or family and I am the official complaint box. So messages abusing him in many languages and degrees of anger flood my inbox. And friends I can still handle, but family is another story.  

I try to come across as the nice bahu, and keep reminding him to call the elders in the family regularly, he is obviously respectful and assures me that he will call them in a second. Usually a second lasts anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour and a half. But when it comes to calling people it usually translates to “there will come a second in the future, distant future, when I will talk to them, you don’t worry”.  And before that momentous second comes, they have called already and I have had one round of scolding from everyone. He, however talks to them completely normally, not even acknowledging even a hint of a problem. And usually after the call, he is all smiles and tells me, “See dear, I spoke to them no.”  

I am just using this blog to a) absolve myself of all responsibility and b) get some sympathy from anyone who is reading. To this end, I present another example: 

Me, the absent minded idiot and my parents are waiting outside Pragati Maidan to enter into an interior decoration fair in Delhi. He volunteers to get the tickets, a task simple enough for any normal human being with an average or even below average IQ. My gallant, intelligent, super quizzer, excellent writer and MBA from the best institute in India hubby comes back with the tickets. I would have been very proud of him, but here is what happened:

AMI (Absent minded Idiot) : “Oh God! There were too many people in the queue, I got pushed a bit but look I got the tickets, lets go inside.” 

Me: “Oh great, you got all tickets?” 

AMI: “Yeah all 5 tickets.” 

Me and Mom (in chorus): “ Why 5, its 4 of us right?” 

AMI: “Umm…hmmm…Yeah but you see one extra is for the driver” 

Me: “Good, but I drove” 

AMI: “Yeah I was just kidding, its for your brother” 

Me: “How sweet. He is not in India at the moment” 

AMI: “See I got you again, I just got two for you….coz they might have a weight restriction like those airlines …you know the ones who charge for 2 if you take extra space and you know I think in a way its fair….” 

Me: “Don’t say that no. You know it happened just once in the blueline….”  

All our friends have been asked innumerable times, about their jobs, what their parents and siblings do, surprisingly, he still has friends who do take the trouble of calling him and not sceaming at him everytime he says, “So I will call you later today”. 

And this from a person who can tell you the boiling and meliting points of all elements in the periodic table , IN  ORDER, and other such completely useless information. 

The sheepish laugh and wise cracks at the end of every such stupidity is what saves him time and again. I am sure after I post this, he will ask me for the blog address for the nth time, despite the fact that he created it for me.    

I have the weirdest luck with jobs. 

I have done 2 internships in my student life and now am on my second job. Everywhere I go, I have tons of free time, work just disappears. When everyone around is cribbing that the work is too much and pressure is killing them, I am peacefully going through blogs, doing crossies and sudoku to kill time and nodding along whenever the topic of work pressure comes up.   

Also everywhere I have been for whatever short period of time, I have brought the house down. 

No I mean literally.  

Major accidents have happened everywhere, thankfully, all without any loss of life. Parts of buildings died though.  

My first internship was at an IT company of some repute, known to be hard task masters. I went in with the some expectations. I got work in spurts and by that I mean, decent amount of work before lunch. After lunch I used to chat with friends, most of them were taking out time to talk to me whereas I was looking for anyone who changed their status from busy to available.  

I used to occasionally change my status to busy so that my friends don’t think that I am too velli (I know its very sad!). On a few occasions I have told friends “BRB” and then moved to another window to talk to other friends so that I sound busy (I know its even sadder!!).  

One night, during my last fortnight there, a fire erupted in the office causing minor damage. I didn’t make much of it at the time, little knowing that this is one in a series of such incidents. 

The second internship, as a part of my summers from my B-School, was at an international bank. I liked the place and went in with plans of cracking the scene there. I spent majority of my time chasing my boss who was a very senior and, as a result, very busy man. I used my time to make fancy graphs and do some snazzy analysis. Also I started talking online to other friends who were facing an internship experience straight from hell.  

I just counted my blessings and moved on in life. 

I tried to push back the feeling that it was happening all over again to me, by doing what I do best, Eat!! And being in Delhi made it soooo much easier. Aah Delhi food! But that’s probably for another blog. The feeling of Déjà vu returned when in the last week of my internship a floor of my building collapsed. Speculations followed from my friends that the collapse was linked to my project there. Some also said maybe firms should take special permissions if they wanted to put people my size in their building.  

Its not that the projects were too small, just that after having a long period of free time, the moment I got work, I jumped on it and finished it too soon. I tried to pace the work, but like an engineering student fond of the spirits who has come back from a break at his teetotaler home(oh what a bad and convoluted comparison..yuck!), I couldn’t help but work without stopping.  

At the time, I thought, I am being over-enthusiastic and as an intern, I should not expect too much work. Thankfully both projects turned out fine but I couldn’t say I knew how corporate life was. 

My first job had a really long rotational program and I went through around 6 months of classroom training and stints in 3 different departments. My stint in treasury sales was the only one where work was regular. I had enough free time to proof read my boyfriend’s blogs and other pieces of writing but overall there was work.  

The other two departments I spent time in, the first had work which ended at 11:30 or 12, the second I had no work for around 2 weeks straight. I found my favourite blogs, and explored the wonders of wikipedia. I started hating the thought of being at work and doing nothing and of going home and answering questions about what exactly my role was.  

I hated it when HR said “you should take initiative”, I did. I asked everyone for work, and they had nothing. When I got work, it was work, which no one else would touch because it was so bad. I found the situation very funny most of the time and irritating some of the time.  

A long stretch of really jobless days and yet another fire in the office later,  I decided I deserve better work and moved to a firm which was known for making people work a lot.  

As soon as I joined, I was given some important work; I worked happily and worked well.  Now the status of work is that I am writing blogs to fill up time. The saving grace is my boss also knows I have no work and is trying to come up with interesting stuff for me. 

If and when any accident happens here, I will know its time to leave.